This month, instead of writing something medical, I thought I’d write from my other side…my mommy side! I have now been a new mom for almost 8 months. My little Leo is growing up so fast! Every day I finish work and am so excited to get home to see him. It has been hard being a working mom, but, for our family it is what is needed. I miss him each morning as soon as I walk out of the door.
To be honest, there were moments in his first weeks of life that I didn’t get “it” – I didn’t understand where that overwhelming love was or how I was supposed to get through this in one piece. In short, I had a hard time adjusting to being a mom. Leo was very demanding with nursing and was not a good sleeper. While I was pregnant, I had morning sickness each day from 6 weeks on – even during labor. Taking this into account, everyone told me, “Don’t worry! You are going to have a good sleeper since you’ve had such a rough pregnancy!” I think in my head I believed that too! I thought, “I must get a break, right?!” Well, in those first 6 to 8 weeks I sure didn’t feel like I was getting a break. It was harder than I imagined. And guess what? Leo still doesn’t sleep through the night!
Even though I have yet to enjoy more than 5 hours of sleep in a row since my son was born, I have to say, I get “it” now – I get why everyone says this is the hardest and the best job you’ll ever have. I get how people say you’ll never know how much you can love until you have a child. It really is incredible and incredibly difficult at the same time. I think for me, I got to this point when Leo was 2 to 3 months old. He started smiling and being more interactive. This really helped me to bond and continue to appreciate our newest family member. Then at 4 months he started rolling and giggling – the giggling is the best!! Beyond that, he started to sit on his own and discover and explore independently. It has been amazing to see him figure toys out or see his face light up when his daddy or I walk in a room. These milestones have really helped me fall into motherhood and begin to look forward to what all the future days will bring.
I guess I’m telling you all this so you know you aren’t alone if you don’t always feel overwhelming joy. Being a mom is hard! I knew it would be, but, I guess going through it is really the only way to really understand. There are highs and lows, good days and bad days. Some kids sleep through the night, others don’t. Some kids have colic, others rarely ever make a peep. Even so, we all have our struggles and we are all getting through it. I hope that for my patients I can better relate to all the ups and downs of parenthood and raising a child. I hope as a mom, Leo knows that I always want the best for him and love him even when I have to let him cry in his play yard while I use the bathroom. One day I know I’ll be able to use the toilet independently again, but, for now, I’m just going to enjoy the fact that my little guy loves me so much that he wants to see me at midnight, 3 a.m., 4 a.m., 5 a.m….